you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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