how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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