i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
i believe in u and ur pee
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
