I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
i out mim tonsoeep
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