Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
