I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
