just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
