How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
