I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
