So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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