Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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