he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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