I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
