Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
