Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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