doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
