I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Randomize
