I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
