Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
