Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
