How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
