So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
