I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
