At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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