I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
