I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
handjob tips. give me some.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
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