Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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