New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
