a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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