I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
