The best revenge is premature balding
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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