you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
