sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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