she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
