she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
