Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
