well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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