girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
