Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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