my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
