its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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