I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
