respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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