that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
