quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
