She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
