I wanna bring you to show and tell
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
