So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
