Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
