i don't like sucking hair
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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