just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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