I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
