some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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