The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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