In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
