my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
