i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
