Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
we're making bets on your personal life
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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