btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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