I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
