I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
