how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
